Postcards From America Or Should That Be (A)merica?

By Nikki Wordsmith
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Thursday 28th March. The glamour of international travel when you get up at 2:30am to catch an Uber. £55. Driver said the Ubers in California are driverless now.

Slow down pilot! Turn this metal bird around. We’ve flown right past where we are going.

3 planes and 24 hours later landed in The Sunshine State. 80 degrees at 10 at night. Somebody alert Owain Wyn Evans he needs to sort his weather map out.

Friday 29th March. Considering I don’t drink caffeine, the free refills of a cup of joe at this curiously named St. Pete diner, certainly went down well. Three and counting. Buzzin’

Sunday 31st March. The last time I saw Craig we were both childless and mucking about in Manchester. He came over from Chicago with his Missus Heather and three kids. Brilliant beach fun especially with his cricket mad son Grayson.

A woman came up to me on the beach today and said, ‘I have been coming to this beach for years and that is THE best outfit I have seen here.’

Monday 1st April. When I first saw this ace Kraft Mac & Cheese logo my first thought was: this was the only food Kurt Cobain could eat. When I showed it to Craig, he said it too. Weird how the world works huh?

Tuesday 2 April: Haslam’s bookstore where all the books are still on the shelves in the same place as when the shop closed down. Francis Cugat’s book cover for The Great Gatsby hangs as a HUGE poster in the window. Those sad celestial eyes peer down eerily following you as you walk along the street pleading, save me.

Thankfully Kiddo was fast asleep on the backseat of the hybrid when we drove by Disney.

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration or as I’ve been saying my whole life — Nichola Ann Smith is Ace.

Why is that (a) there in brackets? (Or as people who speak American English say, parentheses?) Neil Armstrong claims he said the (a). Apparently, an Ohio American accent flattens the vowel so it drops out of audible speech. I blame the parentheses.

Wednesday 10th April. Went on a boat ride and saw some awesome animals — relaxed dolphins and patrolling pelicans. This dude won hands down for most exotic creature because he has the coolest shoes called Hey Dude!

Last day spent with the coolest dudettes in the known universe. How many pelicans can you see?

Go to NASA or the Kennedy Space Center as it is offically called, it is rocket science.

Listen to Neil Armstrong’s exact words courtesy of CBS News. Did he actually say that (a)? Tell me what you think in the comments below...


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